when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
