Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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