haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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