I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
