I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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