Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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