i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
