We need to rekindle our bromance
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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