Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
