I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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