brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
