non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
