ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ketchup is God's man juice
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
