Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize