What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
