we made out on top of his cat.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
