so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
