YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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