I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
