AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
