dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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