if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
