theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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