Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
