Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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