eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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