i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Quick, to the slutcave!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
