I just cut my nipple shaving
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
