please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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