I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
im calling her cock vulture from now on
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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