I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she peed on how many people?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
