its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
