hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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