Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
