her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
