best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
