He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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