TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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