I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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