why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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