No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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