You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
