Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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