ugly people sure do ruin things
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
