if you like me you must not know who I am
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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