its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
