Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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