fuck your aforementioned shoe
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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