Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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