even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
