I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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