i just google imaged poop.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
