You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize