That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
