Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
