is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Send help, water and tortillas.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
