Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
