Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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