After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
