that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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