I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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