Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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