i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
