Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize