I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
