Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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