yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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